How being coachable = being your best
MINDSET MATTERS
Becoming ‘coachable’ can be a bit like trying out a new activity or sport, or travelling to an exciting destination that you’ve read about. You now want to experience it yourself, even though taking the first step can be a little scary!
Being coachable means allowing yourself dedicated time to unlock your potential by exploring, through dialogue, the themes in your life that matter to you.
Mindset is one such theme.
How often do you consider the mindset you bring when interacting with people? Or put differently – How often do you, think about what you’re thinking about?
The mindset we carry, our state of mind – whether calm or chaotic, can have influence on our everyday lives, such as how well we process information, or important functions like decision making.
Look for instance at daily activities, like how well we remember details from a meeting, recognizing an opportunity, or, how focused and present we are in any given moment. In situations of increased pressure or stress, simply maintaining an awareness of your mindset - thinking about what you’re thinking about - can reduce negative impact. Recognising and understanding any physical or emotional cues, can be the difference between a thought based response, and a reaction, where emotion often prevails.
Doing this can open up the powerful realisation that you have choice. It’s up to you how you handle the moment. Choosing to set your mindset in advance of a particular situation can be a great start. Remember Henry T Ford’s famous saying “If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right”.
Developing self- awareness, practicing mindfulness and meditation are ways in which the benefits of a centred and positive mindset can be realised.
Reminding yourself of the few words ‘think about what you’re thinking about’ can help guide increased self- awareness, and help quieten down hectic or unhelpful thoughts.
Being aware of your mindset helps recognise and pay attention to our own ‘self-talk’. What is the language and tone of your own self talk? Is it harsh and unforgiving? Or is it positive and empowering?
Remember a time when you felt a sense of personal control over a situation or activity. What was your mindset then? Chances are you were calm and focused, enabling a free flowing state of mind that is you at your best. Replicate that mindset.
In the same way your body needs recovery time after exercise, so does your mind. Developing rituals of mindfulness and meditation techniques allows your mind to rest and recover.
Being coachable enables greater understanding that the choice is yours, to unleash your potential with clarity and purpose, and blaze a new trail.
Get in touch,and lets talk!
Words matter
Rob shares some personal reflections on the passing of a friend
When a coaching approach guides a conversation, you will often hear or see what is easily described as the 'Ah Ha!' moment, when previously seemingly unconnected thoughts, experiences and emotions come together to make sense of something, quite often in a surprisingly unseen way. This week, two seemingly unconnected events, coincided for me. The first, was simply an addition to my vocabulary courtesy of an interesting article on Linkedin. More on that later.
The second occasion was in the form of a deeply sad, powerfully moving and enriching experience. It was the state funeral of Anthony Foster, a gentle and friendly man whose sudden passing has sent shock waves throughout the world, who has since been described by words like 'giant' and a 'lion'. I was privileged to have known Anthony personally, as I am equally proud to know Chrissy, his wife, life partner and to all who know them, soulmate. What these people have endured is astounding. Their most important life work, was first borne from the agony in learning their two daughters had been systematically raped over many years by a paedophile 'priest'. Cruelly, the damage wreaked by these attacks was only followed by more tragedy when Emma, their eldest daughter took her own life, and Katie their middle child suffered a traffic accident sustaining permanent injuries that require 24 hour care, whilst trying to block out the pain with alcohol.
When seeking justice, these normal, everyday suburban parents soon discovered a depth of obstruction and collusion to cover up these heinous crimes which could only have seemed designed to make their already insufferable pain much worse. They found themselves up against a supposedly trusted institution, the Catholic church, whose leaders were and still are more devout in protecting assets and reputation, rather than taking responsibility for the crimes against countless innocent children, many for whom the pain was too heavy a burden, and only found peace by their own hand.
In their quest for justice for their family, the couple became a courageous yet methodical, articulate yet fierce and tough yet always empathetic force. Always with humility and complete absence of grandiose, they embodied qualities the church has so long denied its most vulnerable - giving a voice to the silenced, and giving hope where hopelessness had dwelt for so long. Together with intellect and driven by love for their family, they turned the course of Australian history. Their words and deeds allowed survivors of clerical child sexual abuse in Australia to finally begin to see chinks of the light of justice shining through the thick uncompromising stone walls of willful institutional dominance.
So now for a leap back to the article which is simply about a word that stood out for me throughout the days following Anthony's death. That word is Firgun - the Hebrew word for “the genuine, unselfish delight or pride in the accomplishment of another”. It describes an emotion for which there is no comparable word in English.
Clinical Psychologist Dr Keith Gaynor, describes "a sense of warmth that something good has happened for someone else. Whether it is babies being born, exams being completed, planning permission being achieved, we regularly feel great happiness for other people. We feel delighted."
There have been many other emotions, thoughts and imaginings of the last days, when reflecting on Anthony's life. He carried meaning for so many, seeking only the justice of truth, and in doing so gave for many the hope of a new day.
Thank you Anthony for all you have done, having the rare ability to channel such pain and anger into real protection for others children. And without knowing it thank you for the last little gift you gave me,Firgun, a word that encapsulates your life's meaning to me. Because as you said, words matter.